Meditation, Scott Turner, Maundy Thursday--Year C--April 5, 2007

I tried to be good tonight. After all it was the Passover feast and our teacher had arranged it perfectly. He made sure we had a nice upstairs room where we could have fellowship and celebrate the Pesach meal.
 
I tried to be good, I really did. Some of the others had told me to tone it down. They thought I was annoying the teacher, what with my outbursts and seemingly (to them) inappropriate comments. But I couldn’t have been annoying him, could I? From the very beginning the teacher and I connected on many levels.
 
Before I met him I never thought much of anything turned out for the best. But when I met him, it was like there was something about this guy. Something. I didn’t know exactly what, but I felt certain that I’d figure it out eventually. He invited me to join him and I couldn’t refuse. I was completely captivated by him.
 
Early on we spent many evenings together, he and I, having those great discussions about life and work and especially how carpentry was more than just a job, it was an art. We both agreed on that. Framing houses and building furniture are my passions and his, well at least they were, back then. He doesn’t talk about them much any more.
 
And he chose me to be one of his followers. He chose me. So I’m sure I’m not really annoying him. Really sure. Well, sort of sure.
 
So the others wanted me to hold it down tonight. I pretty much get along with them though I really don’t always get where they’re coming from. I think they like me too, at least some of them. They keep calling me “the twin” as some sort of a nickname, though for the life of me I can’t figure out why. Out of all the things about me they could have picked to use for a nickname, why would they pick that?
 
Anyway, a few weeks ago we were on the road in Peraea some distance from here when we got word that our friend Lazarus had fallen ill. The teacher said it wasn’t anything serious so we stayed where we were for another couple of days.
 
Then all of a sudden, the teacher said we needed to head immediately back to Judea. The others were alarmed at this because Judea had become a dangerous place of late, especially for our teacher. But I was ready! Even if it meant we all had to die with him, I was ready to go, and I said so! You should have seen the looks they gave me when I said that.
 
A couple of the others said something to me about it. They couldn’t understand why I had just blurted it out. Didn’t I understand the danger the trip could put our teacher in? The danger it could put us in? I just ignored them and moved on.
 
I really do get tired of them being wishy-washy and afraid. Why in the world did they agree to join us if that was the way they felt? Didn’t they give up their families, friends and businesses to follow the teacher? If they gave up everything then why be hesitant now?
 
But don’t get me wrong, sometimes I can get a little annoyed with the teacher too. His stories are often very puzzling. I usually just keep my mouth shut and figure I’ll ask the others later what he was really talking about.
 
So here we are, in this nice upstairs room. The table is sort of cup shaped, like a circle that’s been opened up on one end for easy access to serve us during the meal. When we got here I just found a cushion and sat down. Some of the others were arguing over who got to sit where but I can’t be bothered with stuff like that. All I need is a place to sit. 
 
The table was prearranged for us, waiting for the teacher to start the meal. I’m really excited about being able to celebrate this festival meal in this particular place after all the excitement our teacher’s entry into Jerusalem seemed to generate. It was really wonderful to see how the crowds responded to him. Their mood was so invigorating. There’s no match for a big city when it comes to generating this kind of energy.
 
Now I know the excitement was tempered a bit when the teacher got upset with those people in the temple who were selling animals for use in ritual sacrifices. But to tell you the truth I agreed with him 100%. Those booths were so tacky, I was tempted to give them a piece of my mind myself, but I held my tongue. I’m glad he ran them off, for now. But they’ll probably be back, eventually.
 
The teacher then started saying some very interesting things. He told us how eager he was to eat the Passover meal with us before his suffering was to begin. He also said that he wouldn’t eat this meal again until its meaning is fulfilled in the Kingdom of God. I had an idea of what he was referring to but I wasn’t going to say anything now (still trying to be good). As usual, I figure one of the others would explain it to me later.
 
The next few minutes were very surreal. The teacher took a cup of wine, gave thanks to God for it and said, “Take this and share it among yourselves, for I will not drink wine again until the Kingdom of God has come.” Then he took some bread and once again gave thanks to God for it and broke it into pieces and gave it to us saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this to remember me.”
 
Do what to remember him? Eat bread? I’m very puzzled by all this and would love to say something, anything, but I’m still trying to be good and keep my mouth shut.
 
The rest of the meal passed fairly uneventfully until the very end when the teacher took yet another cup of wine and said “This cup is the new covenant between God and his people—an agreement confirmed with my blood, which is poured out as a sacrifice for you. Once again I had no idea what he was saying, so I’m adding this to my mental list of things to get clarified later (the list is getting longer and longer by the minute).
 
Then things sort of turned a little chaotic. There was talk of someone betraying the teacher. Did I hear someone say it was one of us? I certainly can’t believe that. I’ve spent three years with these guys and though they can be quite annoying at times, I never once got the idea that one of them was a traitor. Out of the corner of my eye I see Judas slip out of the room to go pay the bill. Thank goodness someone in this group is being responsible.
 
And then those Zebedee brothers started in again about which one of us is the greatest. That is so tiring, and they go on about it so. They even drug their mother into it a while back. But again I kept my mouth shut.
 
Then things quieted down a bit and we fell into a nice after dinner discussion. All night I have been really successful at holding my tongue. But then the teacher started talking about his father’s house and how it had room for all of us and how he was going away to prepare a place for us and when everything was ready he would come get us. So far so good. But then he said “and you know the way to where I am going.”
 
Well that was about all I could take. Why would he go through all that talk about preparing a place and coming to get us and then say that we knew where he was going? How could he think we knew where he was going? And if he really thought we did know where he was going, why would it be necessary for him to come get us?
 
Honestly, I was just beside myself. So I just said out loud that we had no idea where he was going so how in the world could we know the way? He calmly responded to me by saying that he was the way. I decided to not say anything else right away and just ponder this for a bit.
It wasn’t long before Phillip piped up and started asking his own set of questions. I got the sense that the teacher was growing a little impatient by then since he sort of lit into Phillip saying things like “after all this time we’ve been together and you still don’t know who I am”?
 
Some of the others leaned over to me and said “see what you started”? “Why couldn’t you have just left well enough alone”? I didn’t mean to start anything. I really did try to keep my mouth shut all night long, but my mouth just got the better of me.
 
Well, things are winding down now. Everyone is heading out to the garden. I’m so sleepy. The meal has really satisfied me. The teacher says he wants us to sit with him and pray for a while. And then he gets up and goes off a ways. The sky is so clear. Concentrate! Pray! The stars are so mesmerizing. Keep awake! I’m yawning now and really sleepy. I sure hope I’ll eventually be able to figure all this out, Thomas says as he falls into a deep sleep.
 
Many years later, his friend John would write “So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he replied, “I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side.” John 20:25
 
Let us pray. Everliving God, who strengthened your apostle Thomas with firm and certain faith in your Son’s resurrection: Grant us so perfectly and without doubt to believe in Jesus Christ, our Lord and our God, that our faith may never be found wanting in your sight; through him who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever.

Amen.

Book of Common Prayer, Page 237